Tuning Saints

The four of you are here because you are  sick. Perhaps it’s not a disease you have, or perhaps it is. Perhaps it’s as of yet  undiscovered, hence why we took samples of your blood. See, the problem is that we’re  not certain you’re human, and that’s an issue. It’s an issue to have those who claim to be saints amongst us, because saints get away with so much harm, do they not? Now you aren’t saints in the classical sense. There’s  no miracle being performed at the request of your prayers or other such nonsense. It’s  been brought to our attention that the four of you are not sufficiently angry. You see, when it finally happened, and I’m sure you all know what I mean by that, you four did  not scream. You didn’t scream in triumph. You didn’t scream in anger at those who  screamed in triumph. You didn’t scream with scolding bloodlust at those screamed in anger at those who screamed in triumph. The virtual assistants in your phones recorded  no signs of arousal when the previous administration aired the executions nor when the  previous administration was executed. This is an issue. This is concerning. It fills your  neighbors with fear to know how much you lack. We cannot allow such inhuman  creatures to walk amongst us, you see. Your timbres do not fit within the symphony. But perhaps, perhaps, you’ve simply never properly tuned your instrument, and so I brought  you here. And in this little group, this small chorus, we shall see if you can sing at  suffering or if you’re meant to suffer. Isn’t that fun?